Saturday, July 11, 2009

Sickness and Integration

Well last night I was sick. This wasn't just a achy body not feeling right kinda sick. Ooooh no! It was a hug the toilet bowel sick, while I puked my guts out. And every time I attempted to stand up a wave of nausea would wash over me until the toilet bowl and I were one once again. Finally, I surrendered my feeble attempts to separate myself from this porcelain sanctuary and just eased myself down on the bathroom floor close to my new caretaker...the toilet.

When my Honey came home from the office, he took pity on me and helped me up to our bed, where I fell into the exhausted sleep of one who had been digging ditches all day long. Today I woke up with a still rebellious stomach, but I was able to keep things at bay and I am feeling better and more rested this evening.

After this full day of nursing, resting and caring for myself, it feels like an emotional shift has taken place. I feel at peace. I wonder why? What kind of emotional purging took place while my body was expelling and rejecting?

Upon reflection, I remember that just 3 days ago I attended a Reiki Expansion meet up, facilitated by my dear friend JOYce Leonard (check out her blog http://joyceleonard.blogspot.com/ ). There were 5 of us Reiki Practitioners there and we each had an opportunity to lay on the table and receive Reiki from 4 others. Before we received we stated out loud an intention for our session. My intention was one word - "FOCUS". This word expresses my desire to simplify my life and to bring into alignment all parts of myself - Writer, Artist, Reiki Bearer, Shamanic Visionary, Student, Teacher, Wife, Firefighter and some many others parts that I have not yet discovered.

In the way of connecting to our Sacred Energy (Reiki) the answer to bringing FOCUS into my life did not blare itself out to me in a booming voice (well I guess this could potentially happen on rare occasions). What I noted was an anxiousness and fatigue the following day (while at work at the firehouse), sadness, grieve and a bit of anger. None of this associated with any one experience... a frenzied busyness the next day (at home) in an attempt to get projects done, followed by all out purging while hugging the toilet that night...followed by calling in sick to work this morning and quiet reflection all day long...followed by peace this evening. An EMOTOIONAL SHIFT ...a POWERFUL INTEGRATION...due to healing and release that I cannot see clearly yet.

I do know clarity and insight will follow, for this is the way of REIKI. I am Grateful.

1 comment:

  1. Oh great...now everyone will want to attend my Reiki Expansion Sessions so that they can puke all night too :)

    April, you are a terrific writer...I laughed and cried at your story, so poignantly told.

    Congratulations on your purging and emotional shift.

    I love you!

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