Saturday, August 1, 2009

Commitment and Rebellion

I made a commitment to myself and a circle of "sacred sisters" to write on my blog for 30 days...and I have failed. Part of me feels guilty...I don't like that part, no not one bit.
However, there is this other part of me that says "what the f**k" how am I going to live into all of my commitments... commitments really made to myself and witnessed by my three very dear friends. When I recognize this rebellious voice screaming ...not in just in my head, but in my heart and every cell of my body...I am taken aback and, I must say, relieved. I can then take a deep breath and realize that I am not letting anyone down...not even myself. No I am trying to get my feet under me and figure out how to manage all of the different parts of my life.

I don't have time to write about this now. I have been held over at work for 1 1/2 hours and I just got word that my relief is on the way, so I need to gather myself together for transfer of shift to my relief Engineer (driver).

I do "want" to explore this discovery more in writing...but I cannot make any promises right myself or plate is I take it one day at a time... a HUGE lesson in patience, trust and belief that everything my heart desires has happened already...IN ITS OWN TIME.