Saturday, August 1, 2009

Commitment and Rebellion

I made a commitment to myself and a circle of "sacred sisters" to write on my blog for 30 days...and I have failed. Part of me feels guilty...I don't like that part, no not one bit.
However, there is this other part of me that says "what the f**k" how am I going to live into all of my commitments... commitments really made to myself and witnessed by my three very dear friends. When I recognize this rebellious voice screaming ...not in just in my head, but in my heart and every cell of my body...I am taken aback and, I must say, relieved. I can then take a deep breath and realize that I am not letting anyone down...not even myself. No I am trying to get my feet under me and figure out how to manage all of the different parts of my life.

I don't have time to write about this now. I have been held over at work for 1 1/2 hours and I just got word that my relief is on the way, so I need to gather myself together for transfer of shift to my relief Engineer (driver).

I do "want" to explore this discovery more in writing...but I cannot make any promises right now...to myself or others...my plate is full...so I take it one day at a time... a HUGE lesson in patience, trust and belief that everything my heart desires has happened already...IN ITS OWN TIME.

3 comments:

  1. The best commitment you can make to your circle of Sacred Sisters is to take care of yourself...rest, relax, unwind, fill yourself back up. F**k the blog...it was an idea that felt right at the time, but in reality, doesn't pan out right now. It's not big deal. Take it off your overflowing plate, sweet sister!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Be GENTLE with yourself Sweet Sister! Your intention to blog is a mere road map of your journey inward. I invite you to keep a gentle spirit and mind with Sweet April. She holds so much serving in her realms. She is ALWAYS on her path. She is ALWAYS teaching. We love her deeply. Please be GENTLE.
    Intentions are good.
    Be GENTLE.
    You are the LIGHT.
    Shining out to the World.
    We've opened our hearts
    To receive who you are.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Know that you are missed.
    I love you dearly,

    ReplyDelete